Dear Marie:
My husband passed more
than a year ago from Alzheimer’s disease. The progress of the disease was very
slow. At first, we didn’t know he had it but the doctor later said it had been
there for a while. I was his primary care giver for more than 5 years before I
had to finally put him in a facility because I could no longer take care of
him. He kept wandering off. At one point it took several hours to find him.
I know he is at peace and even
though I miss him, I'm glad he is free. My question is ‐‐ I want to clean out
my husband's clothing and belongings but it is so overwhelming. Should I put
this off? What is the right time for all of this?
-- Waiting for the Right Time in
Portland, Maine
Dear Waiting:
The right time to
clean out your husband’s belongings is when you feel it's time. Never let
anyone else push you into clearing out his belongings because that person feels
it's time.
If you're ready and feel
overwhelmed, as you have stated – it might be a good idea to have a friend or
relative come over to help you. Having another person there can help you relax
that overwhelmed feeling.
If you're ready and there isn’t
anyone available to help, that’s ok too. Just go slow. Start in one room and
clear it of his things before moving to the next room. Be sure to put on some
music. Make it upbeat. This will also help you get through the job.
Plan
ahead of time where his items are going (Goodwill, Salvation Army, etc.) You
want to move them out of the house, not shuffle them from one room to the next.
Once you have cleared out his belongings, clean the room and rearrange it, if
you feel the need. This helps make the space yours.
Regards,
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