In the January 2008 article, I wrote about becoming whole
and what that can mean for you. In this article you will receive some of the
tools needed to achieve your goal of wholeness. Being whole is really about
living your life in balance. It is also about living your life in a state of
"being” versus "doing.”
When working on becoming whole, taking baby steps allows you
to avoid feeling overwhelmed. It is also good to appreciate your success and
failures along the way. You don’t want to beat yourself up and run the risk of
quitting. Babies fall down over and over again before they master walking.
The first step is to pay attention to what is in front of
you - what is happening at this very moment in time. This lets you not only
become familiar with your true emotions, but it also helps you to experience
the present moment as it is. So many people live their lives thinking about
what they must get done or what they didn’t do. They also think about what happened
to them or what might happen. Such thoughts are endless. The fact is, doing all
this thinking takes you away from "now.” I have a theory that accidents often
happen because the person causing the accident isn’t really present. They are
miles away in thought.
How many times have you gone on vacation and not been able
to remember the small details of the trip? You looked at the photos of the trip
when you got home and were surprised at what you saw. Maybe you didn’t remember
the sun was setting or a flock of geese were flying over, and yet the photo
shows this to be the case. You might have remembered these small details if you
had been present.
Another reason for staying present is the issue of emotion.
Emotions are the gauge we have to tell us how we are doing. It is also how your
soul lets you know whether you are on track with your life, whether you are
following your souls or God’s highest wish for you. If you are not living in
the moment, you can miss these clues. This leads to the second step to becoming
whole.
You must start paying attention to your emotions. As I
stated above, they are your barometer of how you are doing at any given point
in time. It is hard sometimes to feel certain emotions, but you must feel them
to know what needs to be worked on. An example is the emotion of anger. If you
are not willing to feel it, it will only come out in other ways. You might
become passive aggressive with your boss or a friend. Maybe you will withdraw
and get depressed. You may not be aware of your behavior, but the bottom line
is that the emotion that started it all is anger.
So being in the moment allows you to feel the emotion and
decide what, if anything, you want to do about it. If you are off balance, your
emotions will let you know. If you feel off in some way and just can’t put your
finger on what it is, let your emotions be your guide. If the emotion is joy,
you’ll naturally want to keep doing whatever caused that emotion. If it is fear
or anger, you may want to explore it with a friend or counselor.
The third step in becoming whole is to take action. This is
vital. You must not only listen to your emotions, but you must take action in
dealing with them. The action could be as simple as taking a walk in nature
while reflecting on your feelings. It could be talking to a therapist or coach.
It could be that writing your feelings in a journal is what you need to do.
When you are journaling, it is a good idea to be very honest. After all, your
journaling is supposed to help you. Also, make sure you not only write down the
emotion and why it showed up, but also write down your action plan for dealing
with it.
The goal is to effect change in your life. You want to live
the life you dream of and one that is true to who you really are. To get this
change you must start living your life in the present moment and take a hard
look at where you are in this moment, including how you got here. Next, use
your emotions as your measure of how well you are doing. Finally, take action.
Bit by bit, you will start to notice changes in who you are and how you relate
to the world and yourself. You are at a crossroad in your life: which way are
you going to go? Will you take the road named "status quo,” or will it be”
journey to being?”
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